I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
