Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
