i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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