it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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