Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I have tasted many bathrooms
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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