On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
