Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
