what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
