I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
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She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
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I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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