Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical