She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
