Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I had to cum in my sink.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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