Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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