I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The air taste purple.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
