OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
