hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize