i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
