She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize