awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
