What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
