Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
