i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
