i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
