He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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