I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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