Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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