oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
