so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize