All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Couch. On fire.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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