Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
