i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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