Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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