the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
