yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
