i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize