Ketchup is God's man juice
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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