Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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