broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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