is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Randomize
