no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
