Have you finally orgasmed yet?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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