Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize