Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize