Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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