it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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