i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
