I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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