i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
