i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
