I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
