also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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