I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
