well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
