Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize