apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
and i looked up. we had an audience...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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