a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
