Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
