Can i not drive my cunt home
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
