I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
