just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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