community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
