I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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