Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
