im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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