If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
