i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
