So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
