the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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