just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
