I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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