O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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