I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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