Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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