i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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