mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
and you fell through a lawn chair
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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