the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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