If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
