I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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