When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
