I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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