yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
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Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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