You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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